What if I Were a Monk?

What if I were a monk?

Maybe, instead of self-deprecation,

I would congratulate myself

for my two days spent doing nothing,

going nowhere, and

being alone.

Maybe then, I would find success

rather than punishment

for my state of literal stillness,

lack of desire for anything,

and being devoid of thought and craving.

What if I lived in a place, like the monks,

where such a state of mind and body

we're seen as the pinnacle of achievement?

What if achievement were not even a concept in the equation?

What if my slower thoughts,

my disinterest,

and my detachment was

not to be given a value of good or bad,

right or wrong,

but just something that is?

What if I didn't have

to go to the mountains to be on vacation?

What if my vacation is,

just as it was this weekend --

sitting alone, still, quiet, and sleepy --

just because that is how I

needed it to be.